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Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind

December 28, 2007

Words somehow are cathartic. You put something down in writing and forget about it, until you wish to review it at a later time. This morning, as I was filling in my journal, I had a weird sense of unreality. All those pages of writing, of thoughts, of secrets, of crushes and heartaches – never read. Somehow, I don’t like the idea that any other person knows so much about me that it is scary. Call me whatever, but that’s the way it is. No, I’m not afraid of what you think. If you talk to me and we bond enough, I will probably tell you everything. After a huge amount of time.

We’re all voyeurs[not in the perverse sense] and we all have an element of masochism [again, not in the perverse sense]. Googling your ex. Wistfully watching photos of the girl you crushed on with another guy. Obsessively following conversation threads on online forums. Secretly cringing every time your best friend talks about the girl he loves, simply cos you love him just as much. Spending hours reasoning out why something will not work, only to realize that it doesn’t matter and that you can’t let it go.

In these deep solitudes and awful cells,
Where heav’nly-pensive contemplation dwells,
And ever-musing melancholy reigns;
What means this tumult in a vestal’s veins?
Why rove my thoughts beyond this last retreat?
Why feels my heart its long-forgotten heat?
Yet, yet I love! โ€” From Abelard it came,
And Eloisa yet must kiss the name.

How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray’r accepted, and each wish resign’d.

‘Eloisa To Abelard’, Alexander Pope

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12 Comments leave one →
  1. The ubiquitous Mr Anonymous permalink
    December 29, 2007 12:00 PM

    Well, you seem to have forgotten blogging. Arbit people reading (personal) blogs, rather. Now, then, was this an attempt to get all such voyeurs to drop in a line? Or is that a completely new angle?

  2. December 29, 2007 12:31 PM

    @The ubiquitous Mr Anonymous:
    Now, then, was this an attempt to get all such voyeurs to drop in a line?

    I didn’t intend it to be. But you, obviously, thought it attempt enough to comment.

    As for forgetting blogging, the list is endless. You’re welcome to add to it.

  3. December 29, 2007 12:51 PM

    I don’t think anyone ever “lets go”. One part of one’s heart and mind are always engaged, once engaged… and unlike Pope, I’d say

    How unhappy the vestal virginโ€™s lot!
    The world forgetting, by the world forgot.

    You’ve seen the movie by that name? It is beyond amazing…

  4. December 29, 2007 1:18 PM

    @Camphor:
    Exactly. The last excerpt is little bit of an irony. And I’ve seen the movie. Beyond amazing it is – one of my abs favourites. ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. livetimefe permalink
    December 29, 2007 10:59 PM

    Wistfully watching photos of the girl you crushed on with another guy.

    ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

    You never told me…..

    But as far as best friend/friend with other women goes….oooh la la…. ive had LOADS ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. msnarain permalink
    December 30, 2007 6:46 PM

    SIGH! i got no other comment! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    http://www.sathyanarain.com

  7. December 30, 2007 6:53 PM

    didnt u watch the movie or what? i thought everyone read the entire long poem when the movie got released…

  8. December 30, 2007 7:09 PM

    @livetimefe:
    Umm, I never told you what? And the best friend thingy is not a personal experience – generalized from numerous confessions. ๐Ÿ˜›

    @msnarain:
    a lot of other poeple didn’t too. thanks for visiting! ๐Ÿ™‚

    @nandhu:
    Yep, I’ve watched the movie. And read the poem before the movie. But I don’t know if people who’ve watched the movie actually read the whole poem. ๐Ÿ˜› Mostly, they know only the excerpt that was flashed before the film.

    Anyway, parts of the poem adapted well to what I was thinking when I wrote this. Ergo. ๐Ÿ™‚

  9. December 30, 2007 8:35 PM

    Genius. Its freaky when people know things that you’re thinking about, yourself, and you secretly wish they weren’t, coz you’re scared of thinking about it yourself. If that makes any sense.

    Even though this may sound weird, thanks for the post. Just what I needed.

  10. December 30, 2007 9:58 PM

    @sharanya:
    Genius? Post/poem? ๐Ÿ˜› And I know exactly what you mean. ๐Ÿ™‚

  11. December 31, 2007 11:24 PM

    Both ๐Ÿ™‚ The post more so, coz you’re just 19, I think. Not 30, at any rate.

  12. January 1, 2008 1:45 AM

    @sharanya:
    lol, much delighted. ๐Ÿ™‚ and here’s wishing you a fantastic year ahead ๐Ÿ˜€

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